I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
