help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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