I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
