I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We need a shit load of segways right now
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
