peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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