you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
