Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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