Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The power of my boobs compel you
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
