I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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