I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
