He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
