I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
