doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
