So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
