when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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