i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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