i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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