wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
