doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
