Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
