Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
