Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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