I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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