Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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