it wasn't lemon gatorade
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
3 2 1 whiskey
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
