What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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