I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
