No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
did i walk over a car last night?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
