It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
