i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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