Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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