respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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