he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
