dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
