weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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