I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
