i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
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Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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