What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Panties = found
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