I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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