He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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