Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize