Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
