Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
