mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
