bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
