Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
everyone is single if you try hard enough
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
