Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
