So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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