Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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