a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
