Christians are straight up FREAKS
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
They are going to name an STD after you.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
