I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
