Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
