wakey wakey hands off snakey
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Randomize
