What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
