My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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