Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
