kristin has been a bad kristin
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just high enough for therapy.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
