Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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