Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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