You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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