what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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