Already got asked if we're dating
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
