Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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