Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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