I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
