She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
