therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
